The Spiritual Leader of the Household

Every other week, I zoom with a little theology cohort of a half dozen led by Jim Perkinson and Lily Mendoza. Right now, we are reading a piece from Indigenous theologian and activist Vine Deloria, Jr. who writes that reflection is not the same as logical thought. Reflection is a special art that requires spiritual maturity. Reflection allows wisdom to approach instead of seeking answers to self-generated questions. It requires patience and courage and trust. Reflection is a special art that Lindsay has pretty much mastered—and I have been marinating on this rare quality of hers today as we celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary.  

Lindsay’s superpower has made me a profoundly deeper person than I was seventeen years ago. Sometimes I struggle. I have a strong tendency to control outcomes or just dwell in that district called Denial. I am slowly learning from her how to wait for wisdom to approach and wash over me, instead of anchoring in answers that absolve me from further consideration. What’s weird is that when we got married in 2005, we were just starting to second-guess the Christian fundamentalism that says “the husband” should be the spiritual leader of the household. This is a broken model on so many levels. I cannot even imagine my life without her leadership.